I'm just going to come up with some "what if" questions and answer them to the best of my ability. Ha!
- What if you were chillen in the middle of the sahara and a Rhino came after you? Hmm... well, I would first shit my pants, and try to run with the load. I would definitly be screaming insanely loud. I would throw sticks and leaves at it and try to blind it with some dust. I mean, the only thing you can really do is fight it face to face. Anybody with a pair of balls can win!
- What if you had a huge, high powered speed boat? I would take it down to the Gulf of Mexico and have some fun with those badass fag Cuban drug smugglers with there high powered boats. I would ram them with my boat, piss in it and sink it because there boat sucks! I would steal the drugs and recreate the Boston Tea Party and keep the cigars. I would give the one's floating on tires free, huge wave rides and watch them bob up and down.
- What if Davis could grow a beard? That would be fucking sweet. A ginger beard!!
- What if you were a Pirate Captain in the 1700's? If I were a pirate captain, I would take my ship and crew to a small enchanted island and just chill there. We would take all of our Rum and shit and just have a small party under the palm trees. We would build huge fires and listen to Bob Marley! At night, we would just dance around the fire and have a blast! I would invite the local hispblackasian people to join. Then we would go up to the highest volcano point and crap in it! After, we would challenge them to a warcry contest with our war bugles. After, we would just call it a night.
- What if you could hold one contest of any kind, what would it be? If I could hold any contest, I would hold a guys longest distant pissing contest. You could hold this in the woods, and you would have the contestants go one at a time and see how far they can piss. Then they would put a stick on the spot that they reached the farthest. Then the next person would step up and go. The interesting thing about this is that you dont have underdogs or favorites. The littlest man could kick your ass at any second!! Anybody could win! The winner would receive a certificate saying that he's a long distant pisser champion!
- What if you were stuck in the woods with one other person in war against China, what would you want that person to be like? I would want somebody like myself except with the name John Rambo (actual rambo). If me and him were working together, imagine how much damage we would create. We would be able to get the chinks in no time. Also, we could just hunt our own food. We get a panda and eat it! It would be pretty sweet, and the chinks wouldnt stand a chance with John!
- What if Tony Seliga got the hottest Asian in the world? I would be fucking jealous!
6 comments:
Ginger Beard LMAO
I never knew Tony was so into Asian chicks. Some of them are pretty hot though.
I've got that long distance pee championship on lock. If a rhino was chasing me, I would charge right back and try to jump it, only a man of your caliber can take it on headfirst!
Ginger beard: Bad ass but unlikely.
Pissing competition: We will be holding this very soon possibly in the woods near Davis' after we build a sweet fire.
Stuck in the woods in china: A really hot asian chick...No explanations are needed.
Super fast boat: try to jump a land bridge.
Pirate ship: sail the seven seas of course.
Rhinoscerous: crouch in the fetal position and begin to cry.
Alright! Sounds like a kickass event!
Haha. Colin Rambo. I love your posts! Those are some pretty sweet What If's and you answered them so good. I was laughing out loud for a bit.
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